Claptrap.

One of the very few times when I tend to find the reason behind that gloomy feeling. I just can’t think anything as my thoughts stop over you, but it leaves me with an answer. Answer is you and my obsession for you. I forgot you don’t care for me and got carried away with few sweet words of yours. I forgot there is nothing beyond pally relations and dreamt of being together. You regaled me with few moments but that’s it. It’s the end; where all the hopes and feelings die. It’s good they die rather than staying within and keep pricking. Its better they die thus living some ample space to ponder over other craps. But I forget, hope is immortal; no matter how dark it is, a little vacuity and hope will bask in the pallid limelight of your thoughts. Whenever I asked ‘how’s you?’ I really wanted you to be fine. For you it was just a regulation, wrapped with bit of sweetness. Whenever I said you mean a lot me, you really did. Though you never said but your mannerisms expressed that others mean a lot to you, even more than me. That made me take back, think over and give up. I gave up coz I believed myself, not in nagging behind you. I gave up coz I’m a loser. Yep, ours is a land of heroes and I play a loser. I tried many times; each time hope overcame my insecurities and pulled me back. This time though, I won’t let hope overcome. I’ll hold it and cherish it instead, rather than getting pulled back by it. There are lot other things to hope and desire for. I don’t want you back in my life, maybe I do but I don’t desire anymore. Instead I want you live happy with regrets and qualms. Not because I want you to come back and rest in my arms, I want my heart come back and rest in happiness. I want to wipe the marks of affinity but I guess it is not that easy. But nothing seems easy here. I will try, fail once or twice, stand again few times but in the end I’ll manage to do it. Take care, I really mean it. And try to find a subtle hint of ‘good bye’ in it just like I did.

We will live!

  Chandu was feeling ecstatic as he walked towards his home. The exhilaration of victory was sparkling with every drop of sweat on his forehead. After all, today his results were declared and he had topped his class with flying colours. He was eager to tell the news to his parents and feel the happiness on their face. He heaved a big sigh as he walked up the stairs of his house. He was surprised to see the door locked. He looked around but none of his family member was seen anywhere. His mom should have been there at home as she always welcomed him after he came from his school. He would then narrate all his adventures of the day and have some snacks with her. Chandu was a poor guy from a village located on the banks of river. His dad was farmer by profession and toiled hard day and night in his farm to earn his livelihood. His mom worked as a maid and did the chores of people in her vicinity. Though there financial condition was poor, they desired to educate their elder child Chandu. They enrolled his name in a convent school which was at a distance of around 20 kilometers from his house. Chandu would beat the road with his footsteps before and after the school. His mates teased him and made fun of him and his mannerisms. But Chandu was focused and hard working guy. He was aware of his economical background and hence never complained to his parents for not providing him with the things which his mates easily afforded. He worked hard to fulfill his parents’ expectation and it was his dream to give them a happy lifestyle.

  He waited there for a while but no one turned up. He got worried as it was getting dark and still no one returned home. He decided to go towards their farm and call his dad as he was feeling creepy. He took his old bicycle out and went to their farm on his bicycle. After few minutes he reached there and parked his bicycle. He saw his dad talking with his fellow men but he was unable to recognize them in the dark. He went towards his mom who was sitting in the small hut in their farm where his dad used to rest at afternoon. He asked his mom about whatever was going on. His mom avoided him and snapped him for coming there on bicycle. His dad came towards them as the men went after some time. He noticed that his dad was tensed and something was terribly wrong. Tension was apparently glimpsed on his dad’s face. He asked him whether anything was wrong. His dad satisfied his curiosity by saying they were the landlords and they came to discuss about the contract he had signed with them two years back.

  Chandu took the torch in his hand as it was too dark and they started walking back towards their house. His mom served them the meal and told Chandu to sleep while she washed the utensils. His dad soon went into deep sleep. Chandu felt something unusual as his dad didn’t snore like he would do normally. He rested on his mattress but was unable to sleep as numerous thoughts started haunting his mind. He sensed his dad was in some deep worry or the tension. He came towards his mom and sat near her. Moon was out and stars were sparkling in the dark. He told his mom that he ranked first in his class. His mom kissed him on his forehead and filled his mouth with a piece of jaggery. He was feeling blissful but wondered why did his mom didn’t celebrate his success? He sat there for a while but she spoke nothing. She instructed Chandu to go back to sleep and tell his dad about his results early morning after he got up. He waited for the sun to rise as he was feeling excited to tell his dad his result. He was so excited like it was the only thing he wished to do after getting up next morning. He went to sleep and soon got lost in his dreams. His mom shut off the lamp after she was done with her chores. The time passed hastily to reach the midnight.  Chandu got up for a pee break as he usually used to get up once or twice every night. He went outside, in the open place behind his house. He was finding the weather unusual and was feeling creepy. He washed his hands and went towards kitchen to drink a glass of water. He poured water into the glass from the jug and kept the jug it back to its place. He turned around and was shocked. The glass fell down from his hands making a loud noise. Sweats dropped down his face and his body was trembling in fear. He was unable to believe what his eyes showed him. He saw his dad hanging on the ceiling fan in kitchen; he had attempted suicide and gave up his life. Chandu broke up and fell flat on the ground. His body was looking pale and cold as he was unable to bear whatever had happened. His strident sobs awakened his mom. His mom ran towards kitchen and she too trembled in fear. Chandu rose up to console his mom. He knew he needed to be brave and face the calamity. His mom needed his support and courage. He looked towards dead figure of his dad and then towards his mom who was sobbing in his arms. He rose up and tried bringing in the entire valor to face the situation. He decided to strive hard and support his mom. He decided not to give up; no matter what and stand for his family. He looked at his younger siblings who were in their deep sleep. He walked towards them and took them close to his heart. He wiped his tears and warned himself not to cry. He decided to build up the bridge of audacity for his family to walk upon. He hugged his mom tightly, relieved from his sobs and whispered in her ears, “WE WILL LIVE..” 

Shadi Mubarak! (now n then)

TEN YEARS AGO

Host: Arey aap? Kab aye aur kaise hai aap? Sab kuch badiya?

Guest: haan ji sab badiya! Shadi badi dhum-dham se mana rahe ho!

H: Haaan bhai, eklauti bitiya hai hamari!

G: Waise ladka jarta kya hai?

H: Dostor hai jee. Aur khud ka aspataal bhi hai.

G: Ye to bahot achhi baat hai.

H: Thik hain, main chalta hu, bahot saare kaam baaki hai!

G: Thik hain bhai, hum samazte hai. Ladki waale hain aap,

H: haan woh to hai. Par bina khaana khaye mat jaana aap! Sab cheezo ka prabandh kia hua hai.

G: Haan lekin aaj hum thodi jaldbaazi mein hain. Phir kabhi bhaaisahab.

H: Jee nahi, khana to aapko padega hi warna hum bura maan jayenge!!

G: Aap samazne ki koshish kariye..

H: Hum kuch nahi jaante, aap khana kha leejiye pehle fir baate karenge!

G: Ab aap itna keh rahe hain to chalo.

H: Yeh hui na baat. Khana thik se kha lena, kuch kam jyaada ho to bata dena.

2012

G: Namaskar bhaisahab.

H: Namaskaar, aap kaun?

G: Jee..aa..woh..ladi ke chachajee hain hu..um.

H: To thik hain. Who aajkal bahot saare anjaan log shaadi me ghuns jaate hain.

G: Sahi keh rahe hai aap.

H: Jee itne dur se aye ho to akele hi aana tha na, puri family leke aye. Bewajah zhanzhat.

G: ha woh humne socha aakhri shaadi hai apne parivaar ki to sab chalte hain..

H: Achha hua pure gaaon ko leke nahi aaye!

G: Ha…Waise ladke ka naam kya hai?

H: Abdul.

G: Kyaa?

H: Itna chowk q gaye aap? Achha ladka hai, laakho me kamata hain.

G: Haan par apni biradari ka nahi hain.

H: To kya hua chacha jee? Aapke din gujar gaye. Waise bhi dono ek dusre ko achhi tarah se jaante hai, pehchcante hain. Live in me the do saal.

G: Yeh kya keh rahe hain aap?

H: Sach hi toh keh rahe hain hum. waise bahot dur se aaye hain aap? Waapis kab jaa rahe ho?

G: wo bas nikal hi rahe the ke socha aapse milta chalu.

H: Achha kiya. Achha kiya jo abhi waapis jaa rahe hai. Khaane ka jara shortage hai na.

G: To chalte hain ab hum.

H: Thik hai, jaiye aap.

Under progress

Mini heart attacks. Do you get one?

Mini heart attacks. Everyone often gets one. Just like some stated below.

#1- A fine night. You're busy tweeting; tweeting random stuff, sharing links and getting in touch with your mates. Just then, you glance at your follower's count and see the -100 result. Yes, that mini heart attack.

#2- A great day, you're amidst the celebrations of one of your friend's birthday. You're the only one with a cool cell phone. You take out your phone to live tweet your adventure on twitter (salute to all those who do it!). Your friends see it and under the pretext of snapping photographs, a fight for grabbing it beguns. Yes, that mini heart attack arising out of the fear of your cellphone falling down on floor.

#3- A busy day, you're having very hectic at your end. One after the other, assignments and appointments. No free time, you're on complete #FML mode. Just then your phone rings and your girlfriend reminds you of the promise given to her by you. A mini heart attack.

#4- A full-on-piss-off day. Assuming, you're not an intellegent Einstein and a normal human being. You're having your exams that you took as seriously as having bath on weekends. Question paper falls in your hand and yes, the mini heart attack follows.

#5- Considering you're the same person, the re-run of same mini heart attack on the result day.

#6- You're having some great time. Weekend is on, you've one TB porn. You're busy watching it and some family member enters your room. Till the time you find a way out of the jungles of erotica, you get one mini heart attack.

#7- Happens less frequently to boys and more frequently to girls and sissy guys. You're as usual watching your favourite daily soap with all your concentration and attention. The lead character in it is not feeling well and gets admitted in hospital. There, docs tell he's having cancer and here you get a mini heart attack.

#8- You're on date. Having some great fun. Just then you notice, you've forgot your wallet. That mini heart attack. (Any witty excuse, if this happens with you?)

#9- Happens with very less people, given that you're a cricket fan or at least like to watch it. The situation when you need bunch of runs in very few deliveries. The man in form is still on crease, looking in good touch. He hits the ball in air and there is a man standing under it. A mini heart attack.

#10- A bit boring day. You lie your boss, you'll be not able to come to office as you're having severe head ache. He agrees and you get a holiday. To make a productive use of your holiday, you decide to go for a date to revamp the mistake done in #3. Maybe your boss is too active on foursquare or you're too insane, but you spot him in the same cafe/restaurant you're in. Or the vice versa, he spots you. That mini heart attack!